Johnny & Cindy Show - 'Coons

[JP SylvrWolfe]

Hey there, this is Johnny from the J & C show, and it's time you heard the TRUTH about this city, damnit!

I'm the only man who will give you the real deal about this town, and the psychotic bastards who really run it. I will give you ALL the info you need to stay informed and stay human in this place of FREAKS!

And for the freaks...I got one thing to say...

(Johnny proceeds to howl into the mic)

[JP SylvrWolfe]

SO with that out of the way, here's the first piece of news you /need/ to know. Right now, this city is under attack by a whole ASSLOAD of fucking Raccoons. That's right, you heard me...Raccoons. Those masked assfuckers are making off with millions of dollars in inventory and shiny things, and what is SCD doing about it? NOTHING!

The utterly ineffectual 'Director' is once again showing how inept he is by completely and totally MISSING the were-'coons every single time they attack. Ther'e's nothing he can do, and I am betting those high-powered TIN CANS they call Knights are completely powerless to stop it.